Have you ever come face to face

with the end of an era in your life? You go along with day to day stuff and suddenly you realize that something precious that you took for granted has passed and may never come back.

Over the years, I've accumulated a herd of horses but I only had one riding horse at a time. I've boarded and leased horses at the same stable for almost 20 years but last year my 19 year old gelding became laminitic which forced his retirement for good in February. I thought in the back of my mind that I'd lease a horse and I've had a line on a couple of real nice animals that are mine for the taking but with 2 horses in training and a broodmare and some babies coming up, it's getting too hard financially so today I cleaned out my tack room and said goodbye.

It was like an archeology dig. I found the green and black lead rope that I tacked onto my apartment door when I was a starving student to give me incentive to work hard "Yes I will afford this someday." There is the dressage saddle and the poofy padded bridle that I used in dressage tests 15 years ago. Next to it was the Western saddle and the Tom Thumb snaffle that I used on the trail. Then there was the time of my life that I kept the local tack store owner smiling. Boots and polos and brushes and pads and bits and some look like I never took them out of the packaging twice. I have 5 different bridles for pity sake and 4 different girths.

So I spent the morning sorting, cleaning, hanging and reminiscing about the horses and thinking about when the adventure was all still in front of me. I thought about the turns in the road and where they have taken me without being totally aware at the time where I was going. I thought about the gains and the losses and the fallout of the decisions I made and whether it will ever boil down again to the simple joy of going to ride my horse on a Sunday morning.

And then I put it all away.