Domestic Violence

Re: Domestic Violence

Postby Ioya Two » Tue Jul 12, 2016 2:01 am

And I am still supportive in a sense, because I do care and love him but if it were anyone's spouse, at what point do you just throw your hands in the air and say screw it?? I think about that constantly and with a young daughter my duties as mom go first. I told him once you know I love you, but if I take her and leave, because it's necessary I refuse to feel guilt if you self harm. He is bipolar, and I have no doubt that some of his issues or anger is about me. But there was a lot that happened as a teen that I'm finding out about now. That's most of it. I have spoken to many people about this. I'm afraid to go into too much detail, because he does partake in pot (never around our kid) and I'm worried should people find out, they'd take her. He's a lot more calm and relaxed when he smokes. Please Ohio legalize so I don't have to worry. Plus he's on Risperdal, an antipsychotic med which is doing wonders right now. But I'm still vigilant and careful.
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Re: Domestic Violence

Postby Quiet Chris » Tue Jul 12, 2016 2:16 pm

I hate to tell you this but any psychiatrist would tell you if you are asking if you should leave that means you want to leave. So leave. Life is short and anyone smoking pot and taking an antipsychotic is a disaster waiting to happen. Good luck.
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Re: Domestic Violence

Postby Ioya Two » Tue Jul 12, 2016 4:48 pm

Quiet Chris wrote:I hate to tell you this but any psychiatrist would tell you if you are asking if you should leave that means you want to leave. So leave. Life is short and anyone smoking pot and taking an antipsychotic is a disaster waiting to happen. Good luck.


Thanks, I'll need it. I try to put up a good front, but spouses of mentally ill and DV victims need just as much help if not more than they do.
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Re: Domestic Violence

Postby Admin » Thu Jul 14, 2016 7:30 pm

Ioya, if you literally fear for your or your child's safety, then I don't see any choice really but to leave so that you put the two of yourselves in a safe place. If he's getting help such as seeing doctors and following their advice (from drugs to regulate to psychiatric help, etc), then you can continue a relationship by having dates and outings with your child, etc but always keep you two safe. At some point, when he's proven to be on the right course and you feel safe, then you can resume the normal marriage of living together.

I don't know the whole story, including what he's done to make you feel fearful, but I would say that if he's hit you or your child then you need to leave. It's not just your lives you're protecting but the emotional scars your child will have by growing up with violence and also teaching him or her that vilence can be acceptable.

Best of luck to you.
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Re: Domestic Violence

Postby Starine » Thu Jul 14, 2016 11:16 pm

Admin wrote:Ioya, if you literally fear for your or your child's safety, then I don't see any choice really but to leave so that you put the two of yourselves in a safe place. If he's getting help such as seeing doctors and following their advice (from drugs to regulate to psychiatric help, etc), then you can continue a relationship by having dates and outings with your child, etc but always keep you two safe. At some point, when he's proven to be on the right course and you feel safe, then you can resume the normal marriage of living together.

I don't know the whole story, including what he's done to make you feel fearful, but I would say that if he's hit you or your child then you need to leave. It's not just your lives you're protecting but the emotional scars your child will have by growing up with violence and also teaching him or her that vilence can be acceptable.

Best of luck to you.


Well said, and very sound advice.
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Re: Domestic Violence

Postby Ioya Two » Sun Jul 17, 2016 8:29 pm

No, no physical violence ever. Just liked to bring out weapons and knives and threaten me with them. Constantly. Especially if I took the baby away from him. So I spoke with his parents and I left for a while. When I can see progress medically or mentally ill consider going back. If 6 months go by and I notice nothing, then I'll file for a divorce. Because my little one doesn't need to grow up wondering what's wrong with mom and dad.
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Re: Domestic Violence

Postby BaroqueAgain1 » Sun Jul 17, 2016 8:33 pm

If someone brings out weapons and threatens you with them, it's not only time to leave, it's time to notify the police. :o
Glad to hear that you are now residing away from him. Best of luck making a new, safe life for yourself and your child.
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Re: Domestic Violence

Postby Starine » Sun Jul 17, 2016 11:58 pm

Ioya Two wrote:No, no physical violence ever. Just liked to bring out weapons and knives and threaten me with them. Constantly. Especially if I took the baby away from him. So I spoke with his parents and I left for a while. When I can see progress medically or mentally ill consider going back. If 6 months go by and I notice nothing, then I'll file for a divorce. Because my little one doesn't need to grow up wondering what's wrong with mom and dad.


Glad you found the strength to leave him, for you and your child.
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Re: Domestic Violence

Postby Admin » Mon Jul 18, 2016 2:53 pm

Ioya Two wrote:No, no physical violence ever. Just liked to bring out weapons and knives and threaten me with them. Constantly. Especially if I took the baby away from him. So I spoke with his parents and I left for a while. When I can see progress medically or mentally ill consider going back. If 6 months go by and I notice nothing, then I'll file for a divorce. Because my little one doesn't need to grow up wondering what's wrong with mom and dad.


It sounds to me that you're being very wise. I wish you the best.
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Re: Domestic Violence

Postby Ioya Two » Mon Jul 18, 2016 7:42 pm

It was quite scary to see weapons, especially knives. They scare me. That's why I don't cook much. I was like, I'm done.
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