Daily Laugh

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ElPrado2
Posts: 1961
Joined: Thu Sep 12, 2013 7:45 pm

Tue Jan 15, 2019 9:08 pm

A Canadian University gave out condoms with a safe sex message stapled to them, thus rendering them unusable.
They trying to build population up there?
BaroqueAgain1
Posts: 10003
Joined: Sat Sep 14, 2013 6:16 pm

Tue Jan 15, 2019 9:53 pm

Someone at that university needs to be shown how those little latex/rubber sleeves actually work, because, clearly, whoever prepared that giveaway knows nothing aboot condoms. :oops: :lol:
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ElPrado2
Posts: 1961
Joined: Thu Sep 12, 2013 7:45 pm

Wed Jan 16, 2019 12:04 am

They may have their brains frozen this time of year.
My daughter actually found that on some off the wall news site.
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ElPrado2
Posts: 1961
Joined: Thu Sep 12, 2013 7:45 pm

Wed Jan 23, 2019 11:58 am

The past, present and future walked into a bar.


It was tense.
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ElPrado2
Posts: 1961
Joined: Thu Sep 12, 2013 7:45 pm

Wed Jan 23, 2019 12:22 pm

What do you call a female horse that only wins races at nigjt?

A nightmare.
The Doctors Saint
Posts: 219
Joined: Tue Sep 24, 2013 1:35 pm

Wed Jan 23, 2019 11:47 pm

I thought I kept hearing high hat shots on a drum kit----like someone's telling "One-Liners" and sure enough :lol: So how are ya doin'?
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ElPrado2
Posts: 1961
Joined: Thu Sep 12, 2013 7:45 pm

Tue Jan 29, 2019 8:20 am

2 blondes walked into a bar.
The bartender asked "Are you two sisters?".
"No", they replied, "We aren't even Catholic."
stark
Posts: 4509
Joined: Thu Oct 03, 2013 9:55 am
Location: SoCal

Wed Jan 30, 2019 10:22 pm

It’s supposed to rain Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. Might even dip below 60 degrees. Pray for us in Southern California.

https://twitter.com/BH_JBalan/status/10 ... 4948658176
I've found it easier to tear up tickets at 8/1 instead of 8/5.
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ElPrado2
Posts: 1961
Joined: Thu Sep 12, 2013 7:45 pm

Thu Jan 31, 2019 12:11 am

Sounds just like Tampa. We may have hurricanes , but we don't have earthquakes.😀
stark
Posts: 4509
Joined: Thu Oct 03, 2013 9:55 am
Location: SoCal

Sun Feb 10, 2019 1:05 pm

I've found it easier to tear up tickets at 8/1 instead of 8/5.
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ElPrado2
Posts: 1961
Joined: Thu Sep 12, 2013 7:45 pm

Sat Mar 02, 2019 9:35 am

I've come up with a brilliant one this time....

The Seniors Touch Football League!

I have names for several teams... it can be both sexes. Canes not permitted. No walkers or wheelchairs.
First team.... the Tampa Bay Terminals!
The Los Angeles Layabouts!
The San Antonio Sunbathers!
The Las Vegas Slots! Or Biceps...

The possibilities are endless.
My daughter is sure the men with nets will be chasing me down the street any minute.... She'll give them directions on how to find me.
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ElPrado2
Posts: 1961
Joined: Thu Sep 12, 2013 7:45 pm

Sat Mar 16, 2019 12:03 am

I've beat that. I've even beat the vacuum cleaner.

I'm in yet another motel for another pool tournament. I just went to get toilet paper from the manager. I get to the office, touch the door, and some stark naked guy runs past me, says "excuse me" and runs up the stairs. I tell the manager. We both got a good laugh out of it and I got the toilet paper. I think the manager went looking for for what ever was going on.
As an added bonus, at least the pool player I am baby sitting managed to win his matches today. His wife came, too.
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