Daily Laugh

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ElPrado2
Posts: 2164
Joined: Thu Sep 12, 2013 7:45 pm

Thu May 30, 2019 7:32 am

The cops are ready. My buddy the sarge with a sense of humor spent 20 minutes sitting in the parking lot hoping he didn't see the convoy. That is on hold until the traffic clears a bit. It's still forming up near the docks.
I'm proud of that crew leader. 50 year old men can actually still learn from experience. The cop sent someone lower on the totem pole to find out when start time is. Sometime after 8 this morning. Then he left to clear up the wreck on Bayshore. Told me he would likely be back.
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ElPrado2
Posts: 2164
Joined: Thu Sep 12, 2013 7:45 pm

Thu May 30, 2019 8:21 am

This is an older story, but 100 % true.

There are 3 airports in Tampa. Tampa International, commercial jets, private jets and anything else. Then the base, which can handle B-52s (and used to, before they were morhballed) and a small private plane airport for smaller private planes.
The base gets nice, humongous C5-As, which carry battalions worth of various equipment up to tanks, etc. You could probably load a Boing 707 in one if the wings folded up.
One nice spring morning, he pilot of one of those behemoths got misplaced. He found a runway going the right direction. He used that. Oopsie! He landed it, but he nearly had to go swimming without trunks. He wound up on the little private plane airport a mile or 2 off course. It's oriented the same way because of prevailing wind direction.
It got down in one piece. Getting it back on base without drilling a bunch of rivets out was iffy.
The base called around, found a pilot that would say yes to hopefully get it back in the air and airlifted him in from God knows where. We're talking taking off from a runway built for a piper cub in a jet big enough to carry a couple, with room for a few trucks. Even better, I lived in the way if he didn't make it.
He made it. I don't think he knows how. He had at least 14 feet of runway left when it left the ground. It nearly floated to the base, but he flew over my house to something he didn't have to swallow the joystick to land on.
My main question, how in hell did he get so lost on a clear day to land there to begin with. There's probably a 2 mile difference in runway length.
The network news crews had a ball with that one.
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ElPrado2
Posts: 2164
Joined: Thu Sep 12, 2013 7:45 pm

Mon Jun 03, 2019 7:01 am

I found a NEW unwritten law!
It seems that to ride a Harley, you must wear sunglasses, a grimy tank top, a raggedy black vest and "well broken in" lace up military boots, soles optional. Helmets must come with a shiny spike on top, otherwise they aren't he man enough. And you had your muffler stolen at the bar last night. Being bald but still needing a trim is a must. If you have a mustache, you are allowed an untrimmed fu manchu... or something growing on your upper lip that has a mockingbird nest in it.
About 6 just rumbled by, like peas in a pod.
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ElPrado2
Posts: 2164
Joined: Thu Sep 12, 2013 7:45 pm

Mon Jun 03, 2019 7:36 am

And a pair of mockingbirds chasing them.

I don't need a TV. My window is fine.
stark
Posts: 4913
Joined: Thu Oct 03, 2013 9:55 am
Location: SoCal

Fri Jun 14, 2019 9:49 am

Well, at least they're consistent.
California politicians led by Governor Newsome and Senator Feinstein who are already on record that there's no need for anybody to carry identification when coming thru the border, nor does anybody need identification to cast their ballots at the voting booths, because "we trust you".

Switch over to horse racing, PETA and Santa Anita.....horses will no longer be required to have lip tattoos, very inhumane and "we trust you"
I've found it easier to tear up tickets at 8/1 instead of 8/5.
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ElPrado2
Posts: 2164
Joined: Thu Sep 12, 2013 7:45 pm

Sat Jun 15, 2019 7:55 am

I found...or rather it found me...a long bed dump truck with a bad transmission. It just wallowed by unable to get out of 3rd gear. Poor driver was getting left leg exercise. Vrooomaaarh...vroomaaahr...vroomaaahr...no higher. You could hear the driver yelling at the truck transmission from my kitchen table. If he sees a cop he may try to borrow the gun to shoot the truck and put it out of it's misery.
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ElPrado2
Posts: 2164
Joined: Thu Sep 12, 2013 7:45 pm

Sat Jun 15, 2019 8:51 am

I once worked at the hospital on base for the plant manager... think hospital maintenance. One nurse was a total pain. Most of the work was done by the main base civil engineers, think plumbing, carpentry, painting, whatever.
One nurse was hated by all of CE because she called for things like some teenager had written his name in pencil on the wall or similar. Drove them nuts.
She called the office one afternoon about a leaking sink in a patient room. She had reported it twice before but never saw any change. I was tired of it.
I hung up, stood up, walked 4 steps, grabbed a wrench, told the boss I was gonna shut her up and found the elevator. Found the room she was still fuming in, saw the sink, looked under it, the main joint was loose at the connection with the wall. Used wrench. 1 turn. No more leak. Lazy sods. Stood up, said "fixed". Trotted back to the elevator. Nurse was still making my supervisor laugh hysterically when I got back to the office. I'm not sure what she thought I was going to do with that wrench when I got there. I think she thought I would use it on her. She drove me bananas for things she could wipe up faster than call about.
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ElPrado2
Posts: 2164
Joined: Thu Sep 12, 2013 7:45 pm

Sat Jun 15, 2019 9:02 am

Stark, in Europe they use identity chips in the neck. More humane, faster application, less painful to the horse. One shot, chip in. And the horse doesn't try to remove your hand if it goes near its mouth for a week.
TapitsGal
Posts: 850
Joined: Fri Sep 13, 2013 11:03 pm

Sun Jun 23, 2019 10:50 pm

I have a horse named Mayo and Mayo Neighs
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